Pink Dot 2011

Come join us on the 18th of June 2011

 

Mum and I lending our support to Pink Dot, 2010

President Obama’s memorial service speech for the Arizona shooting victims

Transcript

It Gets Better Singapore

A Christmas present for the community, by the community.
It Gets Better.

Merry Christmas.

Bak Kwa and Pink Dot.

Was buying bak kwa @ Taka earlier in the evening.
While looking at the different types of bak kwa, suddenly there was this voice -
“Hi were you in the Pink Dot video? I just want to thank you and your mum for your sharing and your mum for being so brave.”

This young woman is not Singaporean and does not live here.
She happened to be visiting Singapore with her parents.

We exchanged numbers and she sms a little later to say -
“Stay up & speak the truth! You are an inspiration to many.”

Very touched.
Very thankful to Pink Dot for giving me the opportunity to share.

Here’s sharing the happiness with you, who made the Pink Dot, possible.

Vesak Day – 3 Steps 1 Bow

Source: Be A Lamp e-book at http://www.kmspks.org/download/ebook/Lamp08.pdf

Three Steps One Bow Ceremony

In this ceremony, devotees usually line up before sunrise to meditatively circumambulate the perimeter of the temple, bowing once every three steps, while chanting mantras or the name of the Buddha in praise of Him. Upon every prostration, the Buddha can be visualised to stand before one’s palms, which open to receive His teachings.

The open palms also symbolise lotuses (our minds) blossoming into purity. (Though lotus flowers’ roots are in the “mud of defilements”, they blossom untainted.) Every prostration is thus the paying of respects to the Buddha (or the countless Buddhas and Bodhisattvas). This practice helps to purify the mind, humble the ego and lessen obstacles along the spiritual path as one repents past misdeeds and aspires towards spiritual improvement. With mindfulness of one’s body, speech and mind during the practice, concentration and calmness can be attained.

As the ceremony is long, it reminds one of the long and occasionally difficult journey towards Enlightenment. But it also serves to remind us that as long as we are determined, all difficulties can be overcome. Perseverance in completing the practice despite its difficulties also helps to strengthen our faith in the Buddha and His teaching to lead us towards Enlightenment. The break of dawn at the end of the ceremony represents the light of wisdom dispelling the darkness of ignorance as one advances towards Enlightenment.

post Pink Dot 2010 – 3

Since the airing of “Pink Dot 2010: Focusing on Our Families (Part 1)”, I have been receiving tweets, emails, facebook messages, from people whom I’ve never met.

The following message was sent to me via Facebook from T.k.

It’s reproduced here with her permission.

———-

Hey Eileena!
You may not know me but I know you from the 一家亲 (其之一) video. You two were inspirational! Seriously, your mum is really great! ♥

Help me say thank you to your mum for giving such inspirational speech in the video. =D
Because your mum speaks in chinese, it give a special touch to the video. This enables chinese-speaking mums to understand how it’s like not to discriminate and accept who we are. It just reaches out to them and it’s great to see that at least some families do not discriminate us for who we are.

To me, the video really makes a big difference because at least my mum understand what your mum said because both their daughters are someone special. =)

To your mum:
伯母，
虽然您不认识我，但我对您打从心里万万的感激你。
你真的很伟大！

对我来说，我妈早已知我是同性恋，她是个明白事理的人，但我们的话题这几年来，始终还是没法谈到“同性恋”这三个字。

起初我妈知道我的秘密的时候，她什么也没说，当我很想跟她在一步的谈谈时，她终于发脾气了。她回答：“我不想听！你在说这些有的没的东西，我就永远不认你做我的女儿！” 身伪女儿的我，您知道我有多痛心吗？

久而久之，我慢慢试着给我妈接受，虽然我妈从一开始并没有排斥我之类的，但是我还是很想跟她多聊一些同性恋话题。始终还是很难。

但是有一天我给她看了您的video，您的话说出了她的心声，也让她明白别的妈妈也是可以接受自己的同性恋女儿。虽然起初难，但始终还是接受了。要鼓励她们，不要已排斥的心态对待她们。

起码现在我要跟我妈聊起这些同性恋的事情，她会听了。也会跟我一些小交流。虽然没有谈很多，但起码她肯回答我。

伯母您的话，真的深深的打动了我的心。您不一定会觉得是件很大的事，但对我来说，这改了我妈的想法，让她了解要去鼓励接受她同性恋的女儿。

我打从心里的谢谢你，伯母！
身伪母亲的您可以不顾一切的肯站出来为我们同性恋说话，我真的非常敬佩您！♥

(for the english translation, enter webpage URL here)

—————————

Hi T.K,

Thanks for the msg.
I had printed it out for mum to read, and she was in tears.
Mum’s not familiar with the internet, and so she hasn’t quite grasp the impact of her speaking out.

My mum and I never started off at where we are now.
It took us a good 10yrs or so, to get to where we are.
To start off with, my relationship with her is non-existent.

But at the back of my mind, I reminded myself, in life, nothing is permanent and absolute. At the start of it all, I too felt the same as you, it was almost like I can never bond with my mum.
But gradually, I realise that age has changed her, but my attitude towards her hasn’t – I was still reacting to her the same way as when she was being passive aggressive (as mentioned in the Pink Dot video) towards me.
I guess what I am trying to say is, we can only try. Try without expectations. Try with hope.

I’m glad to hear that you have shown your mum the video and it gave her a voice. Use the video as a window of opportunity to start the conversation with your mum… to address her fears…  to help her readjust her expectations of you.
We can’t just come out to them, and expect them to accept us.
If you need the information to help you talk to mum, you are most welcome to come to the Pelangi Pride Centre Library. We have a good collection of books that will help you with your journey.
Also, here’s a link to the chinese translation of our story -
http://www.fridae.com/newsfeatures/2010/05/01/9912.?n=sec
Do print it out for mum to read.

Recently I was asked to pen some words of advice for queer youths.
And this was what I wrote -

“When I came out to my family, my intention was for us to start to finally have a relationship that’s based on honesty and love.
Often when we think about coming out, we place obstacles in our own way, in our minds. I am not suggesting that all will be fine and dandy when you come out.
It will be challenging, but it is not impossible.
We have to be the ones to take the initiative, to make the effort to clarify that we are not the caricature that the media have painted us out to be.

I hope that my sharing will give you hope that it is, possible.”

Eileena

post Pink Dot 2010 – 2

1972 -73

15 May 2010 - image by Enrick Hoh

Just occurred to me while looking at the Pink Dot photos, that it has been a while since the last time mum and I had a photo taken together.
Saturday’s pix were possibly a first of us together, with me as an adult.

post Pink Dot – 1

Taylor in bed w me on Sunday morning, telling me all about his first Pink Dot. 160510

PINK DOT 2010 – from the heart

Pink Dot 2010 – Celebrating the Freedom to Love.

Mum and me interviewed by Kheng Hua

Taylor, my 4.5yo nephew with my mum

(right to left) Rev Dr Yap Kim Hao, Ho Kok Wei, Peter Goh

Taylor and his Bestfriend, Jasmine!

My Yoga mates

Stand by me – Singing (VERY NDP LEH!)

Forming the PinkDot

The Pink Dot – Image by Dennis Chong

with Sally and John

Alan’s mum who is celebrating her 80th Birthday today.

Happy Birthday Aunty!